


Haikyuu ships oneshots

by Just_AnimeTRASH



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Comedy, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff, M/M, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-10-16 00:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17539055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_AnimeTRASH/pseuds/Just_AnimeTRASH
Summary: Maybe some twoshots mostly IwaOi, KuroTsuki and TeruShou!Additionally, I will mostly be doing male characters because I barely think of the females (is it sad that I am a female?)Requests are available. I do not do NSFW or smut!





	1. Chapter 1

Warnings and stuff!!! 

Swearing, mentions of sexual stuff but no smut/NSFW/sex!

I have school so I might not post much.

Requests are available.

I don't know what to do with Futakuchi.

Crossovers with other anime (KnB, Free!!, etc.)

Memes, lots of them!

Rarepairs that are acceptable: Futakuchi X Terushima, Futakuchi X Daishou, Terushima X Tsukishima, Daishou X Tsukishima, Akaashi X Bokuto X Kuroko X Tsukishima

Shiratorizawa can be paired with each other.


	2. EnnoTana Enno's best mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tanaka attempts to make a joke but Ennoshita misunderstands and they end up going on a date (I won't be describing the date but if you want me to, I could make a part 2 with the date in it)
> 
> Request~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was request by https://archiveofourown.org/users/TentenFireDragon/pseuds/TentenFireDragon I hope you like it!

Ennoshita was walking down the street with Nishinoya and Asahi. He was tired (as always) of his teammates' silly banter. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about them though, he absolutely loves his team! But there's one that he's always liked a little bit more than the others. A sharp toothed and equally sharp tongued idiot named Tanaka Ryuunosuke.

While the three friends were chatting (well, Noya and Asahi were chatting and Enno was just Done™), Nishinoya spotted a shop that sold some meme T-shirts and dragged Asahi along with him, leaving poor Ennoshita to wander aimlessly around the town.

'Thank Kami-sama they're gone, I was tired of third wheeling them.' Ennoshita thought with a small sigh. It was at this moment that he realized that he didn't know where he was. Nishinoya was the one who brought them there, telling them that there was "THIS COOL NEW STREET WITH A BUNCH OF RAD STUFF!!!".

"Enno?! That you?" A rough voice called from about 10 steps away from him. Ennoshita whipped his head as he recognized the voice, his black hair swished around a bit. There stood his crush, a bald head, sharktoothed, volleyball player by the name of Tanaka.

"T-Tanaka?!" His cheeks flushed a tad bit and looked at the baldy. He wasn't expecting him to be here.

"Enno, what are you doing here?! Wait wait wait! We're you looking for me~?" Tanaka said with a sly grin leaning in a bit.

"Pfftt! No way you idiot! Haha!" Ennoshita shoved Tanaka's face with a laugh and a blush on his face.

"Hey Enno, would you like to go..." Tanaka put his hand on the nape of his neck with his head facing the ground but his eyes on Ennoshita.

Ennoshita yelled something Tanaka hadn't expected to hear but was happy about it. "I WILL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!!!" while quickly grabbing Tanaka's hands.

At the same time, Tanaka had continued his previous sentence "to Da-IKEA--?!"

Ennoshita and Tanaka went silent for what seemed like ages (which was actually only 5 seconds) in an awkward silence.

Ennoshita broke the silence by repeatedly saying "Oh my goodness" and "I fucked up" over and over again with his hands hiding his face.

Tanaka grabbed Ennoshita's shoulders and pulled away his hands by the wrists and looked into his eyes. "Do you actually want to go on a date with me?!" he said, though it was a bit louder than he intended.

"Y-yeah, I do." Ennoshita says so quietly that Tanaka barely heard it. The latter started to light up and before they knew it their lips were connected.

It was over as quickly as it started. Tanaka was blushing so hard that he looked like a freshly picked tomato. Ennoshita was blushing just as hard.

"L-let's go Enno!" Tanaka, being Tanaka, tried to look cool by putting on a brave face (even though he was still bright red).

Ennoshita mumbled something that Tanaka couldn't hear.

"What was that?" Tanaka asked the black haired boy.

"Chikara, call me Chikara."

Tanaka had a smile brighter than Hinata's hair on his usually scary face.

"Alright then! Let's go on a date Chikara!" Tanaka said with so much determination in his eyes that even Bokuto might not beat.

I'm sure it's safe to say that when they walked into the gym hand in hand the next day that no one was surprised save for the idiot duo. Everyone congratulated them on they're new relationship and the other second years started to tease them. Narita smiled brightly and commented on how he waited for this since first year. Kinoshita nodded in agreement to Narita's statement and said that he was tired of their pining. Nishinoya congratulated them with slaps on the back and a high-five with Tanaka. Asahi congratulated them normally while Suga rubbed Tanaka's head and Daichi commented about how annoying their long awaited relationship was, Tsukishima told the Team Mom™ and the Team Dad™ that they were hypocrites and just said a small "congrats". Yamaguchi was very happy for them and said that they deserve each other and that they were made for each other. Hinata and Kageyama were all over the place screaming, jumping, running around in circles and kept yelling "CONGRATULATIONS FUTURE CAPTAIN AND TANAKA-SENPAI!!!!"

Ennoshita was the happiest he'd ever been and the tiredest too. Tanaka was screaming with Nishinoya and he'd have to calm them down sometime, but that time isn't now. He'll let them enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't get the joke, say Daichi and Ikea, get rid of the chi in Daichi. You have Daikea!


	3. You meme a lot to me (MatsuHana)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MEMES MEMES MEMES MEMES MEMES AND GAAAAAAYYY  
> Kinda IwaOi and implied KuroTsuki  
> Chatfic I guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! It's short! Also if you don't understand stuff, say it out loud or go on google.

**Memesun:** oi makki

 

**Memekki:** sup mattsun

 

**Memesun:** I just found smth

 

****Memekki:**** show me you loser

 

****Memesun:**** who r u callin a loser asshole

 

****Memekki:****  just show me nerd

 

****Memesun:**** ok ok jfc

 

****Memesun:** **

 

******Memekki:****  **dude wtf r they d8ing

 

****Memesun:**** idk but it srue lokos like it

 

******Memekki:****** srue lokos lmao

 

****Memesun:**** stfu u bicth

 

******Memekki:****** lmao bicth

 

**QUEEnTOORU:** guys aliens exist

 

******Memekki:****** lamo wut

 

****Memesun:**** lamo

 

**QUEEnTOORU:** lamo

 

**Shutthefuckupbeforeistabyou:** lamo also shittykawa get back to bed

 

**Shutthefuckupbeforeistabyou:** its like 3am

 

**QUEEnTOORU:** K Iwa-chan! I'm coming! 

 

****Memesun:**** coming

 

******Memekki:****** *cumming

 

**QUEEnTOORU:** What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

 

****Memesun:**** Oooooooh I’m so scared, you think you’re tough pussy? I’m behind 7 proxies and use ZoneAlarm, Sygate and Comodo Internetnet Securtiy which I all keep up-to-date. THAT’S THREE FIREWALLS AT THE SAME TIME motherfucker. You can’t hack me you little piece of shit. You’re peeshooter and kung fu won’t make a difference when my friend woh’s a B-51 pilot in the Air Force can turn your entire house and backyard into a fuckhuge bomb crater. You are pathetic, while you’re sitting there writing insults like the sad little nerd you are i’m having sex with my hot girlfriends. Yeah you read that right, i have not one but FIVE girlfriends. Top that motherfucker, I dont think you’ve ever even held hands with a girl.

 

******Memekki: i****** waizumi tell him!

 

**Shutthefuckupbeforeistabyou:** sore wa chigau yo! WE ALL KNO UR GAY 4 MAKKI

 

**QUEEnTOORU:** lmao ye

 

******Memekki:****** what

 

****Memesun:**** what

 

**QUEEnTOORU:** what

 

**Shutthefuckupbeforeistabyou:** what

 

**Shutthefuckupbeforeistabyou:** yknow what im done bye

 

_**Shutthefuckupbeforeistabyou has gone offline** _

 

****QUEEnTOORU:**** IWA-CHAN DONT LEAVE ME

 

_********QUEEnTOORU has gone offline** ** ** ** _

 

************Memesun:************  so

 

******Memekki:****** me BODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED

 

************Memesun:************ ure like my soup mate or smth dude

 

******Memekki:****** soup mate? wtf man

 

************Memesun:************ lmao I mean soul mate

 

******Memekki:****** wanna date?

 

************Memesun:************ ye dude

 

************Memesun:************ wanna bet dat iwas fucking oiks rn?

 

******Memekki:****** fuck yea best date ever

 

************Memesun:************ dude I went to iwas house n look here

 

************Memesun:** ** ** ** ** **

 

************************Memesun:************************ hes tryna seduce iwa

 

******Memekki:****** bet its workin

 

******Memekki:****** how long til they fuck

 

************************Memesun:************************  i bet 69 secs

 

******Memekki:****** lmao i bet 42 secs

 

_Forty seconds later_

 

************************Memesun:************************ HOLY SHIT ITS HAPPENING STAY CALM EVERYBODY STAY CALM EVERYBODY JUST FUCKING CALM DOWN

 

************************Memesun:** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

******************************Memekki:****************************** I WIN BITCH

 

************************Memesun:************************ THEYRE NOT FUCKING THO

 

**Memekki:** BITCH

 

_20 seconds later_

 

************************Memesun:************************ HEY BITCH HEY BITCH HEY BITCH

 

************************Memesun:** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************************Memekki:************************** DAMNNN ITTT

 

************************************************Memesun:************************************************ NOW U GOTTA LET ME TREAT U 2 COFFEE

 

**************************Memekki:************************** FINE 2 OCLOCK FRIDAY U BETTER BUY ME SOME FUKCING CREAMPUFFS

 

************************************************Memesun:************************************************ fukcing


	4. I thought snakes could swim? TeruShou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daishou is a second year and in class 7.
> 
> Daishou almost drowns and Teru is his knight in shining swim trunks.
> 
> 2 unknown characters which I will call Takeshi and Ronako.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by a real life situation I was in yesterday. It's just that I never got help or a boyfriend.

It was Wednesday, 6th period, right before lunch. The bell was gonna ring soon.

There were only 5 people in the pool area; Terushima, Takeshi, Ronako, Daishou and the swim coach. Daishou was in the left corner of the deep end

Daishou was going to get out of the water when two of his (male) classmates came up to him. They were usually nice people and they always played this game in swim class. The snake-like boy wasn't really in the mood for games so he tried to get out of the water.

"Sorry guys, I'm-!" Daishou was cut off by Takeshi when he pulled Daishou's leg underwater. "Hey! Sto- agh!" Takeshi kept on pulling while Daishou kept on struggling. While all that was happening, while that was happening, the swim coach was on the other side of the pool so he never noticed what was happening.

Daishou was running out of breath and quick. And to make it worse, Ronako started to splash him with water. Daishou was certain that he might drown at this point.  _'This is it, I'm done for. I never even got to tell him how I felt.'_

Terushima spotted what was going on and processed it in his mind and decided that the best course of action was to help Daishou. He dived into the clear water and swam towards the three other high schoolers. He quickly but gently grabbed Daishou's arm and took him away from Takeshi's grip. By the time this happened, Daishou was about to pass out and breathing heavily. Terushima sent a sharp glare towards the two boys that were unintentionally drowning Daishou.

**Time skip~**

Terushima was in his his uniform and he was pacing outside of the infirmary. He didn't even notice that he was on the verge of tears, I mean, who wouldn't be worried if their crush almost drowned?

"Uhm, excuse me? Terushima-kun?" The nurse called out.

"Yeah?" Terushima answered.

"D-Daishou-kun is awake n-now."

Terushima brightened up so much that the nurse swore that he could've turned into a spotlight right then and there. He immediately rushed into the room. He saw the brunette sitting upright on the bed holding his head.

"Y'know... I thought snake knew how to swim." Terushima said playfully like he wasn't just about to cry.

Daishou was surprised that the bleach blonde was there and his narrow eyes widened a bit.  _'Wait, did he carry me here? Was he waiting outside the whole time?'_ His cheeks flushed at the thought of Terushima carrying him and being worried about him. He mumbled a quick 'shut up' and looked away in attempt to hide his tomato cheeks. He then remembered what brought him there in the first place. Sweet baby Hades, he almost drowned.

"That's no way to treat your saviour! Jeez Daishou! You got me really worried back there!" Terushima walked up to him but abruptly stopped when he noticed Daishou was shaking. "Hey, Daishou? A-are you crying?"

No response. Just more shaking.

"Daishou?"

A sniffle was heard.

Terushima walked up to him, and to Daishou's surprise, hugged him. "Hey, it's gonna be okay. You're safe now." Terushima said in a small voice. Daishou let his tears flow freely and turned around to hug Terushima back. What he wasn't expecting was for Terushima to kiss him.

As Terushima pulled away, his eyes were half-lidded. It took him a moment to realise what he had just done.

"T-Teru? Did-did you just k-kiss me?" Daishou asked. He was sure that even though he couldn't see his face, that it rivalled a cherry. When he got no response except for Terushima slurring his words with a huge blush, he decided to make a move. Daishou kissed Terushima. Terushima seemed a bit taken back at his action but kissed him back anyway.

After a few seconds, they pulled back put their foreheads together with the goofiest grins on their faces.

 

**Bonus~**

"Daishou, I think you have a cold."

"Ah. I think I do. Ughhh! I'm never going to swim ever again."

"Haha! Not on my watch, babe!"

"BABE?!"

"Uhhh.. Yes?"

 

**AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER well, until Kuroo found out. But they rebelled** **against the cat! Tsukishima was very proud of Daishou for that.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I've been gone for so long, I just didn't have any ideas.


	5. Don't put yourself down, idiot! IwaOi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super Danganronpa 2!AU
> 
> Oikawa: Ultimate make up artist  
> Iwaizumi: Ultimate bodybuilder
> 
> Oikawa is basically Nagito and Iwaizumi is Hajime!
> 
> They're trapped on Jabberwock island with the rest Seijohs Peak High's class 77 and their teacher, Sprout! Worst of all is that an evil monochromatic bear is trying to get them to kill each other!
> 
> Heyo kiddos! Ready for a new killing game semester?! Hope you enjoy! Upupupu~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me with that gay shit! KomaHina is my OTP of SDR2!

Iwaizumi was in the dining room chatting with Kunumi and Kindaichi. He suddenly felt a headache coming. "Yahoo~ Iwa-chan! I need to vent! Well, you don't have to listen if you don't wanna. Sorry for wasting your time like this." There it is.

"It's alright. What is it, Oikawa?" He asked gruffly the one who had called him. He listens as Oikawa rants about how he hates Ushijima and Kageyama but he assures Iwaizumi that he wouldn't kill them.

Oikawa Tooru is the Ultimate makeup artist and Iwaizumi's ultimate crush.

Oikawa is a very beautiful man. He has chestnut brown hair that's styled in a flowy way. He has beautiful brown eyes that seemed to hold stars in them, at least they did to Iwaizumi. No one really understands why Oikawa puts himself down so much, he has no reason to, he's beautiful, rich, nice and an ultimate. It seems as if he has no flaws whatsoever. To them. Oikawa thinks that he's not good enough for any of this, his friends, his place in the school, his beauty or his money. And especially not his crush, The ultimate  ~~bara arms~~ bodybuilder, Iwaizumi Hajime.

Oikawa's pretty sure he speaks for everyone when he says that Iwaizumi is hot. Iwaizumi is friends with everyone, even Oikawa. Iwaizumi has so many good traits, he's handsome, muscly, kind and caring in a forceful way, he's smart too. Oikawa has many dreams, he never thinks they'll come true, it's not any different when his dreams start with Iwaizumi, dead and alive. Mostly dead though. He knows they're dreams, yet he can't wrap his head around why he has them, he knows Iwaizumi will never feel the that way. Not for Oikawa at least.

Oikawa lays awake in bed, feeling the same as always,  **crushed and alone**. His thoughts drift to Iwaizumi as always. Iwaizumi's arms, Iwaizumi's smile, the way Iwaizumi listens to him vent. Oikawa is just so in love. He falls asleep with Iwaizumi's voice in his head.

Oikawa wakes up sweaty and teary. He just had a nightmare that Iwaizumi died. He's thankful it's not true. He falls back into a dreamless slumber.

The next morning, there was a body announcement. Everyone looked devestated when they saw the body. Oikawa's dream- no  **nightmare had come true...**

.

.

.

As of today, Iwaizumi Hajime, the Ultimate bodybuilder is dead. The culprit, Sadayuki Mizoguchi, the ultimate secretary, was punished.

The next day, there was another body announcement. Oikawa Tooru, the Ultimate makeup artist was dead. The culprit was found to be Oikawa Tooru, the Ultimate makeup artst.


End file.
